not sure exactly when i arrived in kenya - but i know that its been about a year now. give or take a few days. its been an interesting year - and i have met tons of people and seen a lot of places. most of these places were places i never dreamed i would even visit. things i have felt have run a whole spectrum of emotions. i have felt happiness in many shades. i met my new nephew whom i adore and i met the woman that i want to marry. ive fallen in love with so many children that i cant even count and i have made so many new amazing friends. ive seen the beauty of gods earth and that same beauty in the smiles of the kenyan, ugandan and tanzanian people. ive felt love in so many ways - that i cant even start to describe it. the love of a child who wont let go your hand and the love of a girl who made all of my hopes and dreams come true. ive been lonely beyond measure and i have had so many friends i could not count. my heart has broken over seeing children eating out of trash piles and over not being the man god made me to be. my heart has hurt because of so many i dont even know who are hurting - not to mention because the one i love the most in this whole world is hurting like hell. my heart aches for her.
and my heart cries out to god to give her comfort.

despite all these feelings and emotions its been a great year. maybe its been a great year because of all these things. finding out more who god made me to be. finding how my heart works. chasing more after gods heart - and not mine. and knowing that the more i know of his heart - the better i can love others. my heart has a long way to go - and probably always will. but the most amazing thing is just knowing how much he does love me. and knowing that he put others in my life who love me too. in more ways that i ever thought possible - or that i deserved. but leaning on the grace that i have been given - i can get through it. and with that strength - i will keep at it.

spent the last few days driving all over the coutryside looking for sites that this school we are trying to build can be built on. been in maasi land and in the rift valley. ive chased zebras on foot and seen tons of beautiful places. been around great poeple and been given a lot of godly council. amazing things are happening - and at times i have to remind myself im in africa. but the last few days ive been very aware of it. africa is my home. and lots of times - my hope.