checking my email last night i ran across one of the many ads reminding me that today is mothers day. man was i thankful for the reminder. here in the czech republic - i think mothers day is some other day because it certainly isnt today. well im not sure they even have the official day at all. but anyway - i am glad to be reminded. most of you know my mom pretty well if you read my blog. she is the one who is always there in the middle of whatever is going on, thinks she knows all the new "news", is always flashing that huge infectious smile, kissing all the children (and most times my friends too), and just being an awesome mom. i am not sure that i can put into words adequately enough how much she means to me or has done for me - so i am not sure i will even attempt to do so. but i am never sure how she did it - being a mom that is. or better yet - being my mom. on more than one occasion people have told me that my mom should be sainted. and yes - why not? catholics have sainted many others for much lesser feats. she raised 2 hellion boys (wellme at least) who gave her nothing much more than grief in those nice teenage years, and she still loves me more than anything. this much i know for sure. it means the world to me - her love. her hugs are the best and her love for everyone better. so thanks mom - im through being mushy. but i cant wait to see you in august. love you much!

heading out in a few minutes to go church. (4:30 start time is really so perfect..) But i have thought lately - thanks to conversations with lindsay really - how much i have been enjoying going. this is no small feat really. so many things over the years have soured my feelings of church, to the point of not even going for about 3 yrs while i lived in st louis. whether it was being made to feel small or not welcome for not dressing a certain way, not agreeing with teachings of some people, church politics, lack of love, or just the out of date, dead church in so many ways. but healing is taking place in my heart. i know it isnt complete yet for i still feel some of this bitterness. but the thing is that i see is a new generation who wants to make needed changes. a generation who isnt ready to settle for their parents religion, a generation who loves and isnt scared to think for themselves and to love others. a generation who care nothing about the american dream and is ready to give up their so called "lives" for gods children. the people who care nothing of the worlds definition of success. i want to be one of these. at my church here i see this. PCF is an amazing mix of temporary and permanent, world citizens, and people who just love jesus. not worried about the way people see them. they come to the house of prayer as they are and worship. they cry out for the nations and love each other. this is helping me to heal. i am so thankful i am a part of it. it is a long process, but it is happening. i just pray that god continues to stir peoples hearts to change. change perceptions and the places of worship to the point that they are actually actively seeking gods face and his will. not being a place to come and make our faces known by wearing a nice suit and leaving the pews with no feelings except those of obligation. one of these days it will happen. it will be a long road - but i believe that it will happen.