so overwhelmed and comfused
(i miss you jax..)
never sure where to start or where it all ends
does it end?
how long must i feel this way

god - why do i do the things i do?
why am i the way i am?
how can i mess up so much-so often?
did you really make me in your image?
actually i hope not....
i need your beauty
i need you to be so much more
i need your strength and love

please love me...

hold my hand...

so many ways i screw things up
with love
with life
with friends
with family
with love
why cant this be?

oh yes, and love..

father i need you...

i feel that there isnt one person who understands me
i fear that i will never be loved or be able to give love
i hope that this is wrong
while i know it is
still i need to know

i pray this is not who i am
is there someone for me father?
am i worth having even?
can i make those sacrifices?
will someone else love me?
make my world stand still
if only for a moment
love

do you love me?

my prayers are for the world to see me how i am
not for who i could be
and love me in spite of this
in spite of all my insecurites and screw ups
love me
really love me
to not care where i have been
but where i so long to go

father god you are all i have
you are most of what i long for.
make me long for only you
you alone
and please never leave...

i need to see your face...